Building a Custom Home With Your Spouse | Jackson County GA

Building a Custom Home With Your Spouse? Have These 7 Conversations First

Building a custom home with your spouse or partner is exciting. It can also be one of the most stressful projects a couple ever takes on, which is why so many people joke that they barely survived their new build together. Brittany Purcell leads Brittany Purcell & Associates in Commerce, Georgia. She has built two homes with her husband and renovated many more since. Her advice is simple. Slow down at the start and agree on the big decisions before you sign anything with a builder or a mortgage lender.

Here are the seven conversations to have first.

Why Building a Custom Home Tests Relationships

When you buy an existing home, most decisions are already made. With a custom build, nearly every detail is a choice, and every choice affects the final price. Ceiling height, roof pitch, how much concrete you pour, and whether the house is a simple rectangle or has sections that jut out all change the cost. That’s before you even get to the finishes inside.

There’s one more thing to keep in mind. In the builder’s eyes, both of you have an equal say. If one person asks for an upgrade and the other says no, the builder is stuck in the middle. Talking these things through early keeps your project moving and keeps the peace at home.

Agree on These Before You Sign With a Builder

1. Your Total Budget

You don’t have to agree on a number the first day you start dreaming. You do need to agree on a total budget before you sign paperwork with a builder or a lender.

Plan for this, too. The price you start with may not be the price you finish with. Brittany says that’s usually not the builder’s fault. It’s usually the upgrades the buyers choose along the way. Talk now about how much flexibility you have, if any. New Home Building Guide! by @BrittPurcell | Stan

2. The Finishes You Want

What do you want the home to look like? Are you saving money with laminate countertops and standard cabinets? Or are you going for full custom cabinetry with granite, marble, or other high-end stone?

Brittany’s rule of thumb is that you may not always be on the same page, but you should be in the same book. The best way to get there is to tour homes the builder has already finished, and to go together. Seeing finished work side by side lets you point at what you both like and what you don’t. It also helps you choose the right builder for the product you want.

3. The Floor Plan

What exactly are you building? A three-bedroom, two-bath home around 1,500 square feet is a very different project from a four-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath home with a large study and a formal foyer that ends up around 4,500 square feet. Settle on the size and layout privately before you sit down with the builder.

Set Ground Rules Before Construction Starts

4. Who Talks to the Builder

Decide early who handles the main communication with the builder. If you both want to be involved, set some rules.

• Copy each other on every email and message.
• Don’t hold builder meetings unless both of you are there.
• If the builder calls one of you, check with the other before making a decision.

Clear communication keeps the builder from getting mixed signals and keeps either of you from feeling left out.

5. How You’ll Settle Disagreements

You will disagree on something. Decide now how you’ll handle it. Will you weigh the pros and cons? Flip a coin? Take turns?

Brittany’s favorite example is her own. During one build she wanted a red front door and her husband didn’t. He joked that a red door was a little presumptuous. It’s a funny story now, but it shows that disagreements can be as small as a paint color or as big as not liking the house plan at all. Have a process ready either way.

6. Who Picks Finishes and Approves Overages

Who picks the finishes, and who decides whether it’s okay to go over budget for a certain item? Brittany admits she’s the finish-picker in her house. When a choice pushes past the budget, she brings it back to the family and makes her case.

If you both want a say in design, divide it up. One person might design the kitchen while the other takes the primary bathroom. One might choose interior paint while the other picks exterior colors. Agreeing on this up front takes a lot of stress out of selection meetings. 

7. Whether Anyone Has Veto Power

Last, decide whether either of you gets veto power. If so, what does it cover, and how do you use it without hurting the other person? It’s much easier to agree on this before you’re standing in a showroom with strong opinions.

Building in Jackson County or Banks County?

These conversations take a little time on the front end, but they can save you a lot of frustration later. Couples who agree on who decides, how they decide, and how they’ll handle disagreements tend to enjoy the process much more. 

Frequently Asked Questions

What should couples agree on before building a custom home?

Agree on your total budget, the finishes you want, and your floor plan before signing with a builder or lender. Then set ground rules for who communicates with the builder, how you’ll settle disagreements, who picks finishes, and whether either person has veto power.

Why does a custom home often cost more than the original budget?

In many cases the increase comes from upgrades the buyers choose during the build, not from the builder. Finishes, ceiling height, roof pitch, concrete, and the shape of the home can all raise the final price.

How can we decide what finishes we want?

Tour homes your builder has already completed, and go together. Seeing finished homes in person makes it easier to agree on a style and a price range before you commit.

Should both spouses communicate with the builder?

Either approach can work. If both of you are involved, copy each other on everything, attend meetings together, and check with each other before approving changes so the builder doesn’t get mixed signals.

Ready to Build? Talk to Brittany Purcell & Associates

If you’re thinking about building a custom home in Jackson County, Banks County, or anywhere in the surrounding area, Brittany Purcell & Associates can help you plan it. Our team can share what we’ve seen work with local builders, walk you through each step, and help you keep the process rewarding instead of stressful. Reach out to Brittany Purcell & Associates today and let’s talk about your plans before you sign anything. Connect with Brittany Purcell & Associates | Real Estate Experts